At Glow, we know that no one’s journey is straightforward. Life is complicated, and escaping abuse is never as simple as walking away once and never looking back. Research shows that on average it takes seven attempts for someone to leave an abusive relationship for good. Fear, financial control, children, family pressure, and emotional manipulation are just some of the reasons people return.
What matters is that at every stage, we are here, without judgement, to provide safety, support, and empowerment so that survivors can make the right decisions for themselves.
Supporting a customer through two refuge stays
One of our customers first came to one of our refuges after experiencing abuse and control from a relative who had moved in with her and quickly began to dominate many aspects of her life. When he appeared to have left the area, she felt safe enough to move out and live with another family member who offered her a place to stay.
But, like many perpetrators, he later returned. He began threatening her, taking her money, and subjecting her to ongoing intimidation. With the property and bills in his name, she had little independence or stability.
Eventually, she found the strength to reach out to us again. She knew that she could come back, because once you’ve been supported by Glow, you’re always welcome to return. This time, she felt more confident in recognising the risks and in working with us to safeguard herself.
Recently, the family member she had been living with contacted her again, reassuring her that things would be different and encouraging her to come back. This is a common pattern of manipulation that survivors face, one that makes decisions to leave and rebuild their life after abuse incredibly difficult.
Our approach: safety, support, and empowerment
We know that leaving an abusive relationship isn’t linear — it’s a cycle. Survivors may leave and return multiple times before finding lasting safety. What’s most important is that they know they are not alone.
At Glow, our role is not to tell customers what to do, but to:
- Safeguard: Help them understand the risks and make plans to stay safe, whatever decisions they make.
- Support: Provide a safe space, free from judgement, where they can talk openly and access practical help.
- Empower: Ensure they know their options, strengthen their independence, and build resilience for the future.
In this customer’s case, our team worked with her to assess her safety, explore protective options, and prevent the risk of homelessness. She felt reassured that she could always return to us if she needed refuge again.
Why this matters
Every survivor’s journey looks different. Returning to a perpetrator does not mean someone has “failed”; it means they are still navigating a cycle of abuse. Our job is to stand alongside them, so when they are ready, they have the tools, confidence, and support to build a safer future.
At Glow, we will always be here, no matter what stage of the journey someone is at. Whether it’s the first time, the second, or the seventh, every time a survivor reaches out is an important step toward lasting freedom.
If you need support
If you, or someone you know, is experiencing domestic abuse, you don’t have to face it alone. Glow provides safe accommodation and outreach services across Staffordshire, offering refuge, safety planning, and ongoing support tailored to your needs.
Get in touch with our teams:
Stoke-on-Trent 01782 817055
Staffordshire Moorlands 01538 267093
Newcastle-under-Lyme 01782 713737
Or visit www.findtheglow.org.uk/safe-accommodation
You are not alone. We are here whenever you are ready.
